A Journey of faith- letting go of a controlling God to find something deeper
When Faith Cracks Open
The God I once believed in is dead. At least, that’s how it felt.
The version of God I had been taught—an all-powerful, controlling ruler—didn’t hold up when I needed Him most.
Where was God when I was suffering? Where was God when the world burned with injustice?
People would tell me, “Well, God gave us free will, so we make bad choices,” but that never fully satisfied me.
If God had the power to stop pain, heal, and prevent suffering, why didn’t He? If God was love, wouldn’t love step in?
That was the moment my faith cracked open. I realized something:
This idea of an all-powerful, all-controlling God wasn’t something God gave us—it was something humans created.
The Western Construction of an All-Powerful God
Where did this belief in a controlling God come from?
Greek Philosophy’s Influence on God’s Image
The idea of an unchanging, all-powerful God didn’t originate with Jesus or even Judaism. It was largely shaped by Greek philosophy and imperial power structures:
- Greek Thinkers (Plato & Aristotle): Imagined a perfect, unchanging God.
- Theologians (Augustine & Aquinas): Merged these ideas with Christianity.
How Empires Shaped Our View of God
When Christianity aligned with the Roman Empire and later European monarchies, it needed a God who justified power, control, and hierarchy. This led to:
- A God as a divine micromanager, pulling the strings, deciding fates, rewarding the good, and punishing the bad.
- A version of faith that focused on obedience and submission rather than relationship and transformation.
But that was never the God of Jesus. That was the God I had to let die.
The God Jesus Knew: A Relational, Covenant God
Jesus didn’t talk about a controlling, micromanaging God. Instead, he spoke about Abba—Father—a deeply personal, relational, and loving presence.
God is a Covenant Partner, Not a Dictator
- Jewish tradition understands God as a covenantal partner, not a dictator.
- God does not preordain every event but invites people into relationship and responds to human choices.
- In the Hebrew scriptures, God changes God’s mind (Exodus 32:14), negotiates with humans (Genesis 18), and suffers alongside people rather than controlling them.
Jesus’ Radical View of God
Instead of wielding power, Jesus emptied himself.
Instead of controlling people, he invited them.
His life reflected a God with us in suffering, not above us in control.
God is Present in Everything: A Deeper Awakening
As I continued to explore, I began to see a richer, more expansive view of God.
Jesus often spoke about the Kingdom of God—not as a distant place but as something within us and around us.
- “The kingdom of God is within you.” (Luke 17:21) – Jesus wasn’t talking about an external realm, but a spiritual reality already present in our midst.
- “The kingdom of God is at hand.” (Mark 1:15) – This was an invitation to awaken to the Divine presence already here.
- The Lord’s Prayer: “Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” – Jesus wasn’t pointing us to wait for heaven but to bring divine reality into the here and now.
This echoes teachings from other traditions as well:
- Hinduism – The greeting Namaste means, “I bow to the divine within you.” This reflects the understanding that God isn’t out there but within us and all around us.
- Buddhism – Speaks less about a deity and more about the presence of enlightenment, which resonates with the idea that God is not controlling but present in all things.
- Sufi Islam – Emphasizes God as Love, the Beloved, drawing humans into union rather than submission to an authoritarian force.
When we awaken to this, we no longer see God as a remote ruler but as the essence of life, love, and presence.
If you’re interested in exploring how to nurture and manifest your deepest desires in alignment with the Divine, check out my blog post: Unveiling the Power Within: Nurturing and Manifesting Desire
The God I Once Believed in is Dead – Finding a New Way to See God
As I wrestled with this shift in understanding, I realized this relational, non-controlling view of God wasn’t just a Christian idea—it was universal.
- Hinduism: Brahman is the ultimate reality—both transcendent and immanent.
- Buddhism: Enlightenment is about awakening to what already exists.
- Islam (Sufism): The Divine is Love, not control.
Across traditions, the most authentic experiences of the Divine seem to point to a God who is:
✅ Present, not distant
✅ Relational, not authoritarian
✅ Inviting, not controlling
Why This Matters: Letting Go of Control-Based Faith
Letting go of the God I once believed in doesn’t mean letting go of God.
It means opening ourselves to a more profound, more transformative spirituality.
- Faith is no longer about defending God’s power but experiencing God’s presence.
- Suffering is not a contradiction of faith but a place where God meets us.
- Spirituality becomes about co-creation, partnership, and love—not obedience to a dictator.
A New Invitation
So what if we reimagine God the way Jesus did?
- Not as a distant ruler but as a Divine Presence inviting us into transformation.
- Not a God who controls, but a God who walks with us.
- Not a God who preordains suffering, but one who suffers with us.
- Not a God who demands blind faith but one who invites us into love, wisdom, and action.
This shift doesn’t weaken faith—it makes it more accurate, honest, and connected to the heart of Jesus’ message.
The God I once believed in is dead.
But in letting go of that old idea, I found something richer, deeper, and more real—a God who is not distant, not controlling, but fully present in everything.
Want to Go Deeper?
If this perspective resonates with you, I invite you to explore it further in my book:
📖 The Peacemaker’s Path: Multi-Faith Reflections to Deepen Your Spirituality
In this book, I delve into these ideas across different faith traditions—offering a pathway toward a faith that is inclusive, transformative, and deeply personal.
What do you think?
- Have you ever struggled with the idea of an all-powerful God?
- Does this perspective help reframe your spiritual journey?
Let’s talk in the comments!